Instant Family
Instant Family is a 2018 American family comedy-drama film starring Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne as parents who adopt three siblings, played by Isabela Merced, Gustavo Quiroz, and Julianna Gamiz. Also starring Margo Martindale, Julie Hagerty, Tig Notaro, Octavia Spencer, and Tom Segura. The film is directed by Sean Anders, who wrote the screenplay with John Morris, based in part on Anders' own experiences. Instant Family was released in the United States on November 16, 2018. It grossed over $120 million worldwide, and was called an "earnest, heartwarming comedy" by critics, who also praised the performances.
26.7s
In your heart of hearts, you know you're not good enough and you are going to get fired. Hmm? The same way you got fired from your last three jobs. And you might quit just to get some control back. Hell, you might even tip over that damn yogurt machine and walk your ass right on out of there. Just to clarify, Karen is not advocating vandalism in the workplace.
Instant Family
42.3s
- Pete. Ellie. - Hey. - You made it. - Hi. Just sign in, and take this form with you and write down the name of any kid you meet you might be interested in. Really? That's how this works? Yeah, it can feel a little like shopping for kids. It's messed up, I know, but the county puts these on because they can match a lot of kids and parents quickly. God, look at the big kids over there. Breaks my heart. Most folks want nothing to do with teenagers. Of course, if you two thought you could make room for an older child... - Um, I mean... - I... Oh, God. I'm so sor... We... We're terrible people. I'm sorry. You're not terrible. Now get on in there and find you a family. Go on.
Instant Family
27.7s
God, it's so weird. Normally, you go out and chat up some random kid in a park and you're gonna get arrested. - Now we're just supposed to? - I know. This little guy's all by himself. You want to go say hi? Yeah. Okay. - Excuse me. Sorry. So sorry. Occupied. - Hey! Sorry. Occupied! Sorry! We just went to get treats. So, yeah, just back it up. Okay? - Hey, look, we got some snacks. - Come on, Lucas, right over here. Hey. Excuse me! Heads up!
Instant Family
50.9s
Pete. Ellie. - How's it going? - Hey. Yeah, well... it's a little weird. Yeah, these things can be kind of awkward. But did you meet any kids that you're curious about? We met one little girl who was sitting all by herself. Very sweet, a little guarded. Kind of had a little wall around her. Really small for her age too. Maybe a fetal alcohol thing or something. I saw her... Oh, right there. The little sad-looking one with pigtails who seems like she's been chained to a radiator half her life. - Uh, that's my daughter. - The radiator kid? What? Yeah. That's my daughter. I'm so sorry. You don't have to be sorry. I'm really proud of her. The reason she's sitting away from others is because she has a family, a very happy family. And I didn't drink a drop when I was pregnant. Nor do I have a radiator. - Of course. You should be really proud. - I am.
Instant Family
44.6s
- Pete, what are you doing? - Look at them over there. Everybody's avoiding them like they're dipped in shit. I'm just gonna go say hi. Yeah, okay... Hey, Pete, Pete, just wait. I know. I think it's awful. But they're teenagers, okay? They use drugs, and they masturbate, and they watch people playing video games on YouTube. - We're not equipped for that. - What do we have to be equipped for? I'm just going to say hello. I know. I don't think we should do that. - Excuse me? Hi. - Hey. Hi. Hi! Just FYI, we can all hear you. - Hmm? - "Dipped in shit." "Masturbate," so forth. Uh, we appreciate the concern, but there's no need to go all pity crazy. We know how this works. So just go on. It's okay. Go mingle with the kiddies and don't give it another thought, okay? Have a good day, folks. Thanks. Bye-bye.
Instant Family
58s
So, you two went out and found yourself a teenager after all, huh? - We only met her for a second. - But she made a real impression. Oh, yeah. Lizzy's such a great kid. She does really well in school. Come on back. She came into care four years ago when she was 11. Took a lot to convince her to accept placement in an adoptive home. - Her mother... - Set the house on fire, passed out with a crack pipe. - What I was gonna say... - Before I told it like it is? Before you jumped on in there, is that her mother's made a lot of promises over the years and never seems to follow through with them. Where's her mom now? Probably in an orange jumpsuit selling smokes in the yard. I'm sure that's not accurate. Huh. Turns out Lizzy's mom is finishing a sentence in county jail. Who called it, huh? Who said it? - You did. - Yeah. Looks like she's never pursued reunification or contacted her kids in over two years, so, yeah, she's pretty much a nonissue. That's terrible. What about the father?
Instant Family
2m45s
What are you talking about, "father"? What, are you doing comedy for us now, Pete? Karen, we've had plenty of fathers who have stepped up, but in this case, no ID's on any birth fathers. Look, Lizzy's mom is a product of the system and she never learned to properly care for herself, much less three kids. - Three? Three kids? - Oh. What? Yeah, three. - Yeah, Lizzy... - At once? Yeah, Lizzy comes with two younger siblings, Juan and Lita. Wait, wait. So we would have... three children? No. Two, maybe, but there's no way we can do three. I mean, we wanted to meet... Oh, my gosh. - Why would you show us that? - You're an asshole. Why would you even show that? They're so cute. That's wrong. Listen, we're not gonna sugarcoat it, okay? Lita is a... a wild, rowdy kid, and Juan can be fragile and a little emotional, and Lizzy is strong-willed and she won't trust easily. - God, can you blame her? - Well, but listen. We wouldn't recommend this match if we didn't believe that with some structure and love these... these kids could blossom, right? Yeah, and we're hoping to get them out of their current foster placement. - The Muskies might lose that meal ticket. - Karen, please. Most of our foster parents are really terrific, caring people. And, yes, there are people who do it just for the paycheck. But the Muskies are not abusive or evil. - Just maybe a little... - Inbred. - Karen, there is no evidence to... - You've seen 'em. I swear they look like brother and sister. I can't tell them apart. In any case, I'd love to set up a visitation, unless you have any other concerns. It's just a visitation. So... I-I-It's just... Is it a problem... You know, the whole white savior thing? - Like the Avatar thing. - Avatar? You know how the blue guys couldn't fight off the unobtanium guys until the white guy showed up and pretended to be a blue guy? All I'm saying is, white-bread couple taking in little Latin kids. Are people gonna think we shouldn't be doing that? You know what? We'll go ahead and toss these kids back into the system and I'll just jot you down for "whites only." - Come on. I didn't mean... - Hey! No, that's not... - Don't write "whites only." That's not what he meant. - That's not at all what I meant. Pete, I appreciate your cultural sensitivity, but we have every color of kid in the system. And we have every color of parent. Every color. - Just not nearly enough. - Not nearly enough parents. - Mm-mmm. - And listen. You're gonna get some funny looks. And people are gonna say some stupid shit. But if you're willing to love these kids who need a mom and dad, and somebody has a problem with that, you just ask 'em how many goddamn kids they've adopted. - Exactly. - Hell. Shoot. I just wanted to have the Avatar talk. Now we did, so I'm good. Oh, fantastic. - You ready to meet three kids? - Three kids? - Yeah. - All right. We'll set it up.
Instant Family