American Pie

American Pie is a 1999 American coming-of-age teen sex comedy film directed and co-produced by Paul Weitz and written by Adam Herz. It is the first film in the American Pie theatrical series and stars an ensemble cast that includes Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Natasha Lyonne, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Eugene Levy, Shannon Elizabeth, and Jennifer Coolidge. The film's story centers on a group of four classmates at East Great Falls High School: Jim Levenstein (Biggs), Kevin Meyers (Nicholas), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (Klein), and Paul Finch (Thomas). The youths make a pact to lose their virginity before their high school graduation. The film's title refers to a scene in which the protagonist is caught masturbating with a pie after being told that third base feels like "warm apple pie". Herz has stated that the title also refers to the quest of losing one's virginity in high school, which is as "American as apple pie." Released on July 9, 1999, in the United States, American Pie received mixed reviews from critics, who were polarized on the film's raunchy humor but praised the performances of the cast. The film was a box office success, grossing $235.5 million worldwide on a $10 million budget. Retrospective critical analysis has placed American Pie among the greatest teen films of all time. American Pie's success spawned three sequels: American Pie 2, American Wedding, and American Reunion. In addition to the primary American Pie saga, there are five direct-to-DVD spin-off films bearing the title American Pie Presents: Band Camp, The Naked Mile, Beta House, The Book of Love, and Girls' Rules.

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Nice car! - I'm glad you think so. - You don't like it? No, I like the car. By the way, though, about prom? That was a bad idea. I'm sorry I invited you. - What are you talkin' about? - Please. I asked you because I thought you might actually be worth going with. But you are just a jock. No, wait. You're a jerk. Wait! I don't understand. I saw you making fun of me with your lacrosse buddies. Heather, I wasn't makin' fun of you. Gimme a break. You're so full of it.

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Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house. And you're not gonna do anything about that? What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the Internet? - Yeah. - You can do that?

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No. I cannot do that to her. Jim, get some fuckin' balls. If you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick, how you gonna sleep with one? I don't like the kid, but he's got a point. See, even shit-brick knows you should do it. All you gotta do is set up some sort of private link or whatever on the 'Net... and tell me the address. You can send me the address too. I'll save you a seat. # How sweet it is to be loved by you, by you # - # I needed the shelter of someone's arms # - # Someone's arms # - # There you were # - # You were, oh # # I needed someone who understands my ups and downs # # There you were ## Okay, that was good, but I want to thicken-up that solo. Michigan State is this Saturday, and I want that part to smoke. Yeah, I know, my timing's off. No, it's not that. I think it'll work better as a duet with a tenor part. I'll do it.

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- Dick. - I'll do it. Great. See you tomorrow.

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Hmph.

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- Why are you doing this? - 'Cause I want to. Yeah? Well, you can't fake this. You better practice.

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Come in.

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Jim? There's a, uh... a young lady here to see you. - Hey, Nadia. - Hi, James. Ready to study? Oh, he's always ready to study. He's a real bookworm, this kid. - Dad. - That means... He's not-not one of those nerdy guys but... - Dad! - Well, I'Il... I'll let you two hit the books.

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You want a beer? - Oh, there we go. - Come on, move! Steve! It's my computer! And I wanna use it! Shut up! Oh, you need to... You need to change, right? - Uhh, do you mind? - No. N-No, not at all. Uh, please, you know. Just go ahead and get un... get changed. I'll, uh... I'll go downstairs and start studying up. - Yeah. - Okay. - Oh... - All right, there he goes. Now, we're in business. Now, we're in business.

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- Back in a sec. - Jimmy, honey, wh...

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# He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb # # She has her curlers set, her credit cards are paying the funds # - # He's not that old I've been told ## - Ah, here she is.

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- Did I miss anything? - No. You are just in time. - Oh. Ohh! - This is incredible. Oh, my God! This is too much. Oh, did you see? Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez. God bless the Internet. - Ai-yi-yi. - Do it. Take it off. Oh, my God. Oh, thank you, God, for this wonderful, wonderful day. - She takes her vitamins. - # And it is way too unhealthy # # Often they've typically ## Stop hyperventilating.

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This is, like, the coolest thing I've ever seen. I know. Can you believe... This is definitely one of Stifler's best ideas ever.

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What is she... She's touching my stuff. - Why is she touching my stuff? - Man, let her touch. - She's going through my stuff! - Nadia can touch anything she wants.

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- Oh. - Oh, no. Oh, no. - No, no. - Oh, nice collection there, Jim. She's gonna leave. She's definitely gonna... She's getting comfortable. She's not gonna leave. She reads the articles.

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Is she? She's goin' downstairs.

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- Oh, my God! - Jackpot, baby! - Can you believe this? - Nadia, I would have never known. I have an announcement that I would like to make. There is a gorgeous woman... masturbating on my bed! - Thank you, Nadia! - If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. - What am I supposed to do, Kev? - Seduce her. Wha... What the hell would I say? Go over there and ask her if she needs an extra hand. - That's stupid, Kev. I can't... - That's not stupid! You're stupid if you don't go! Come on! Get over there! - Get goin', man. She's prime. - Get out of here! - She's waitin' for you. - Okay, all right. I'm goin'. - Go! - Go! - I'm goin'! - Go! Go! Go! Go! - Oh, shit.

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# She's open waiting for more # # And I know he's only lookin' to score # - # Often they've typically # - Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. # Been starved for attention before ## Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, no. Hello? - Looks like Jim addressed the e-mail wrong. - What? It went out to every mailbox in the East High directory. God, how juvenile. Hey, hey, hey, guys! - # Baby # - Check this out! Oh, my God!

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Oh.

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Please, God, let this be it. Please?

American Pie